Hope Comes From Crumbs

If there isn’t a trail of crumbs I can surmise there is no bread. Been looking for a job since September with nothing positive since October. I’m supposed to believe that if I keep at it something good will happen but I don’t believe it. Not because my mind is in a “unhealthy” depressive state but I just see no evidence to believe otherwise, my job coach is a good guy but we are using indeed which is just shooting resumes in a black hole. Hope and conjecture are not diametrically opposed to each other. A little conjecture has to leak into hope in order for it to be self sustaining and vice versa. Even people who hope in vain for all kinds of crazy happy outcomes get the placebo response form said hope.

People who claim the future is going to be so bright if you just keep your head down and then none of this brightness shines in the present moment are just stringing you along. What else would people stringing you on tell you? That would never tell you to be hopeless because hopelessness is empowering because that indicates that something in your environment is going to have to change in order to restore hope. The only thing that really begets hope is empowerment because that allows you to counter whatever self serving action others are going to put you through.

Self Love

From: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook

For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that “unless you love yourself, no one else will love you”. Women were told that they didn’t need men, and vice versa. People without any relationships were believed to be as healthy as those who had many. These ideas contradict the fundamental biology of human species: we are social mammals and could never have survived without deeply interconnected and interdependent human contact. The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.

Human Contact Is Now a Luxury Good

Great NYTimes article, applies to a lot of facets of the lower class:

There is also the reality that in our culture of increasing isolation, in which so many of the traditional gathering places and social structures have disappeared, screens are filling a crucial void.

Many enrolled in the avatar program at Element Care were failed by the humans around them or never had a community in the first place, and they became isolated, said Cely Rosario, the occupational therapist who frequently checks in on participants. Poor communities have seen their social fabric fray the most, she said.

Capitalism is bad for your mental health

Great article on capitalism and mental health:

The privatisation of stress is a perfect capture system, elegant in its brutal efficiency. Capital makes the worker ill, and then multinational pharmaceutical companies sell them drugs to make them better. The social and political causation of distress is neatly sidestepped at the same time as discontent is individualised and interiorised.

Depression’s Causes

Great article on depression and basic income:

Why? If depression is primarily—as we have been led to believe by pharmaceutical company marketing campaigns—a problem with our brain chemistry, this makes no sense. The brains of the people of Dauphin did not suddenly evolve in those three years. But the World Health Organization, the leading medical body in the world, has explained: “Mental health is produced socially. The presence or absence of mental health is above all a social indicator and requires social as well as individual solutions.” In reality, depression and anxiety are produced by a broad range of factors. Some are biological—but many are social and psychological.

Masculinity Toxic By Default

OK now the American Psychological Association has declared traditional masculinity toxic  (and so my love affair with modern psychology continues).

So you’are saying men have to show emotion.  But emotion is like an oil well, something very hard to selectively control.  Society wants men to show emotion but only when it comprises a feat of strength (like emotionally supporting a partner).  At all other times they must suppress it.  I have had at least one woman cut me off when I was vulnerable with her about my mental health struggles.  

I am weak which is why men and women don’t respect me.  I can remember one time going out on a paddle boat with an autism group I helped run and melting down when I didn’t think we could paddle back to shore.  It didn’t garner me any respect with the other people in that boat.  Men are expected to be courageous and that necessitates suppressing emotion.  It is disingenuous for modern psychology to label something that has helped men survive and mate for millennia toxic.

rigid vs malleable

A rubric for helping understand the conservative/liberal divide is rigid verses malleable. The obvious flashpoint being gender identity. Conservatives dig in and say biological sex always matches gender and liberals say it’s more fluid than that.

Modern psychology is all about most everything being malleable. An attitude change can change your life. Society will accept you if you give it your best. It has not worked that way for me at all. Part of what makes me view society is rigid is the fact that I have a physical disability which is an affront to the rest of the room’s comfort and it’s incumbent of me to put everyone at ease. However I am likely on the autistic spectrum and suffer from depression so I don’t have the tools to feel out the room for the correct way to make everyone feel at ease.

A lot of the alt right posits that people are like dynamos moving on a fixed trajectory. Women are only interested in the top 20 percent of men. Humankind is basically evil. There is a fixed pecking order. The issue here is the less malleable you think society the more you are going to play a role that remains fixed. And the less charisma and more depression you have the more the world is going to appear and actually be fixed for you because modifying your attitude and making the room warm up to you takes talent and effort.

A Negative By Default

As a man, you are a negative by default. My mom is baby sitting some kids on her house and I still live at home. She does not bother to tell them I will be there because that is a negative because men are assumed to be pedophiles unless they can furnish enough evidence to prove otherwise.

Being a negative by default permeates every aspect of a man’s life. When he contacts a woman she assumes (often correctly) that he’s trying to get into her pants and thus generally gives him a negative response unless he is someone way up high.

Of course modern psychology is trying to get people to believe they have innate worth. If you are a man (particularly a man closer to the bottom) then you are a negative by default so your low self esteem is warranted. Of course that doesn’t keep modern psychology from guilting you over this.

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