If there isn’t a trail of crumbs I can surmise there is no bread. Been looking for a job since September with nothing positive since October. I’m supposed to believe that if I keep at it something good will happen but I don’t believe it. Not because my mind is in a “unhealthy” depressive state but I just see no evidence to believe otherwise, my job coach is a good guy but we are using indeed which is just shooting resumes in a black hole. Hope and conjecture are not diametrically opposed to each other. A little conjecture has to leak into hope in order for it to be self sustaining and vice versa. Even people who hope in vain for all kinds of crazy happy outcomes get the placebo response form said hope.

People who claim the future is going to be so bright if you just keep your head down and then none of this brightness shines in the present moment are just stringing you along. What else would people stringing you on tell you? That would never tell you to be hopeless because hopelessness is empowering because that indicates that something in your environment is going to have to change in order to restore hope. The only thing that really begets hope is empowerment because that allows you to counter whatever self serving action others are going to put you through.

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