The fact that you have to perform security. Psychologists and people cutting you off will slap the “insecure” label on you. That’s all well and good but what the insecure label really means is you aren’t performing security. Let’s face it, interactions in modern life are very stratified. There is income, appearance, and power asymmetry and this makes interactions (particular for those at the bottom) fraught. Those of us on the bottom, even though we are generally regarded as little more than part of the furniture, are expected to believe the delusion that, in fact, we are in an egalitarian space and use what little charisma we have to make the room appear this way. Naturally, putting on this act is taxing and depressing for those on the bottom.
The fact that lying to yourself produces negative emotion. One thing that undergirds modern psychology is the idea that there is no absolute truth, everything is just malleable and pliable and the highest good is getting the most performance out of the self the same way with better technology they can squeeze more horsepower out of a car’s engine. A large portion of modern psychology is just you playing cognitive tricks in order to get more of what you want out of life. I even read an article that said you should try to think negative thoughts about eating ice cream when you are eating it so you eat it less. There was no mention of what this deception would do to your psyche. Cognitive reframing is another thing. You are taught by therapists to interpret people’s judgements of you as a negative of them instead of you. You can do this for a while but eventually a good friend who cuts you off is going to expose that yeah, people are rejecting you because of you, not some insecurity in them. Cognitive tricks can help in the short term but in the long run deceiving yourself is just going to net you deeper depression.